Mindful Wedding Scent Shopping | Making a Memory

Mindful Wedding Scent Shopping | Making a Memory 

 Jodie Clive 

" In the tiny and almost impalpable drop of their essence, the vast structure of recollection" 

Marcel Proust

Beginnings: Pillow Memories and the Science of Smell

From as early as I can remember I have been emotionally connected to the way things smell. We've all heard the classics, freshly cut grass, cookies baking. For me it was the smell of home, specifically my pillow. 

When I was little I used to spend Friday nights at my Grans' house but could not sleep without my pillow, for some reason it felt like Mum was there.

But why is it that we get such a nostalgic wave of emotions when something smells familiar? Well, that would be the olfactory system! The olfactory bulbs live between the nose and the brain and are an extension of the Limbic System, which controls emotional processing. 

"It is the home of our emotions, sexual feelings, memory and learning and with olfaction these can be evoked." Valerie Ann Worwood - The Fragrant Mind.

First Perfumes and the Spark of Aromatherapy

I remember my first real perfume, the move from Impulse body sprays. It was a christmas present from my first ever boyfriend at 17, Davidoff - Cool Water. I remember his scent too, Dior - Farenheight. Even his sisters' Agent Provocateur, the one in the pink bottle. Bearing in mind this is before I knew I had any kind of interest in fragrance specifically, I just smelled and made a mental note that I never forgot. 

Then at uni when I had a little bit of money I did start to dabble and I found myself purposefully seeking out perfumes none of my friends had. At this point I had no idea why, I just wanted to be different. My going out perfume was Agent Provocateur - Maitresse.

Fast forward some years and I'm taking my salon management degree that I signed up solely based on the two practical modules being Sports Massage and Advanced Aromatherapy, these hardly ever get put together. This course felt made for me.

Here a spark ignited, I learned that aromatherapy is chemical reactions in the body, and not just "woo woo" (I’d  like to preface that I never considered it as such, but having a science based way to explain holistic therapies to skeptics gets me rather giddy).

And so the obsession with smells gained a purpose. Healing.

When implementing bespoke blending at the salon that I work at, I had been slowly training my nose without really being aware of it. I have made hundreds of blends for clients and no two are the same. Since doing this some essential oils and commonly used ingredients have completely changed for me. For example chamomile has gone from smelling of barely anything to being almost like bubblegum!

Discovering a Community

Then  during covid I binged watched Ohuprettythings tiktoks about fragrance. The way she spoke of notes and her collection was mesmerising. I had never before heard someone speak of their love of smell in this way. I realised that this Isn't just a me thing, there's a whole world of people that feel the same. Hello Perfumetok. 

After lockdown and getting back to doing nice things my nice clothes didn't quite fit anymore, the dreaded Covid 20lbs am I right! I've always struggled with my weight, but that's another story for another time? It occurred to me no matter what size you are, perfume always fits!

And so with permission from the fragrance community I started building my scent wardrobe. This has now become an actual passion and hobby.

This makes me think, do we all have a dominant sense? As not everyone "gets it" when it comes to perfumes and aromatherapy etc. To some my collection might actually seem like an excessive spending problem! But hear me out, those with the dominant sense of sight are they our artists? Sound, Musicians? Touch, athletes? Taste, Chefs? Smell, Perfumers? And would anyone question art on the walls, Vinyls and cds in the racks, trophies or football shirts framed, tasting menus at Michelin star restaurants. So why not a cabinet of curated fragrances to suit every occasion?

The Wedding Hunt Begins

So why am I telling you all this? and what on earth does this have to do with shopping for a wedding perfume?

Well all these snippets led to me being quite determined to find something special for my wedding day…which was fast approaching.The task of finding "The One" was on!

Where to even begin? At the start I suppose.

I didn't know what I wanted but I did know two things:

One, It shouldn’t smell like anything I've smelt before. With my deeper knowledge and training I now understand why smells mean so much to me.

I wanted to build a whole new memory for this moment that I could come back to when I choose, I didn’t want it tainted with any other lingering memories.

Two, I'd know it when I smelt it. I didn't set myself notes to stick to because they were "Bridal". 

Not a lot to go on really but off I went and did the expected.I searched wedding day perfumes on Tiktok. Found my favorite creators recommendations, then immediately disregarded them. I am a typical Aquarius and like to go against the grain.

Around this time Victoria Beckham launched her perfumes. As a millennial woman growing up on the Spice Girls I had to get the sample kit straight away!

Oh and side note, I'd give anything to smell the Spice Girls Impulse spray again, it was by far the best one!

Contender One: Victoria Beckham - San Ysidro Drive. 

To me this was a lighter more feminine take on Halfiti by Penhaligans. Yummy but didn't give me the urge to drop nearly £200! (an important urge we'll come back to)

After months and months of samples I was starting to think what I “had in mind” didn’t exist.

So I started leaning to a favorite fragrance I had only ever treated myself to a travel size of before. Even though it didn't quite fit the brief as I had already used it, It’s still beautiful.

Contender Two: Le Labo Another 13

This one makes me think of sexy skin! Just a really good smelling person! I can't pinpoint what it is I like about this one. It's Old faithful. I love her.

I was running out of time, I had my "budget" , we were there in Flannels ready to grab my 1st 100ml of her when my now husband inadvertently led me to “the one”...

Much like finding the one you love and want to marry, you just know, I just knew we had found her but....It wasn't a straight forward pivot.

Common sense and responsibility took over me first but it was a slow burn.

The Twist: Dior Enters the Story

There we are at the Le Labo counter, when he says

"Are you sure you don't want to check the Dior stand?" 

On our first date I wore J'adore, I had since gone off this scent as an older client at the salon wears it and it now has a new association. But for him the smell of J'adore, cigarettes and alcohol brings him back to our early days where it's all new and exciting!

Taking his olfactory experience onboard and excited by him getting involved in the process I agreed. Besides they've bought out a few flankers since then.

We didn't make it to the J'adore stand: 

Enter Contender Number three.

La Collection Privée Christian Dior by Francis Kurkdjian comprising of five Esprits. 

The lovely gentleman stopped us, sprayed a card each with “Gris”, I won’t lie that first sniff, I scrunched my nose up! I put the card away in my pocket, but not to be rude asked to try “Lucky”. Britney was speaking to me here. 

That was pretty, really pretty. With £100 cash burning a hole in my pocket and what I thought a healthy budget I quite confidently asked:

"How much?"

"These are £380 each" He explained

Assuming I hadn't quite caught that, he had an accent:

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I choked.

Nope I had indeed heard him correctly the first time. Oh dear!

"I'm sorry that's a bit out of my budget but thank you." off we trot back to Le Labo. En route with Andy's card still in hand wafting as we walk, we both stop and look at each other..

"Whats that one?" He asks

Well, when I tell you my brain chemistry changed when I got my card back out my pocket and re-smelt Gris. Stunning! And the fact my husband noticed the same time I did, Bonus!

We walk back, I ask the man if they did a smaller size. Because nearly £400 on a liquid you don't even consume is a concept even I was struggling with!

They don't, but they do a Eau De Parfum in a larger size that's not as expensive, still more than I had! However It was not by any stretch of the imagination the same smell.

So I took a spritz of the Esprit on my wrist and walked away.

I could see the cogs turning in Andy's head

"It's only one week of overtime," he pointed out.

"Nope I can not rightly allow you to work overtime for a week to pay for a perfume! I have the money right now for Another 13, I know I love it, we can't be silly."

So I got Another 13 all bagged up. 

But for three days I could still smell Gris on me. It got better and better. And yes I washed! I showered that night as we were going out, I scrubbed at it because I loved it so much but couldn't justify the cost. I needed to forget it!

Lingering Obsession

I couldn't forget. I kept the card in my purse and from time to time would get it out to see if I was over reacting. I wasn't.

With my birthday in February and the wedding in March, Andy proposed that I have it as my birthday present and we just stick it on the credit card and pay it off with the rest of the wedding.

Funny considering a few months ago I wouldn't dream of dropping £160 on Victoria Beckham, seems like a bargain now! Oops!

Oh how I love that man! Allowing me to indulge in romanticising such a small part, to some, of our day. I obviously pointed out his part in this obsession... after all it wasn't my idea to go over to the Dior stand.

Gris Dior: The One

So Gris Dior? What does she smell like and why her?                                                         

Well, remember when I said I screwed my nose up to it at the initial sniff? It's very sharp to start, I normally veer away from citrus, it tends to remind me of cleaning products. Yet when we both noticed the scent develop into something else, it was powdery. On the skin it became warming, comforting, a hug from a beautiful woman.

And at the end of the day that is all I wanted to be at my wedding. A beautiful woman. I have no idea if I achieved this, that's not for me to say, but I certainly felt it.

It turns out I love a chypre perfume. I of course looked up the description as soon as I got home after that first time. I'd heard of Gourmands, Florals and so on, I’d never heard this term before. So straight to google I go to check A. how to pronounce chypre and B. what exactly it means, every day is a school day. 

Chypresses are citrus openings, floral hearts and woody bases...Lovely!

Now I have a new family of fragrances to explore.

Lessons from the Search

So my take from all this when shopping for a wedding perfume, if this is important to you, go with whatever gives you a visceral reaction. Be it butterflies or a warm fuzzy feeling.

Then when we’re old and wanting to relive one of the best days of our lives we can crack open a bottle and step back to that moment. Because as Marcel Poust so eloquently put:

“But when from a long-distant past nothing subsists, after the people are dead, after the things are broken and scattered, taste and smell alone, more fragile but more enduring, more unsubstantial, more persistent, more faithful, remain poised a long time, like souls, remembering, waiting, hoping, amid the ruins of all the rest; and bear unflinchingly, in the tiny and almost impalpable drop of their essence, the vast structure of recollection.”

― Marcel Proust